man and woman dating a toddler

12 Warning Signs You’re Dating A Toddler

One of the most complicated relationships is marriage. This is because it takes a high level of responsibility and maturity to keep a marriage.  Since maturity is germane to a happy marriage dating a toddler is starting on a wrong footing. By comparison, getting married is not as important as keeping it. Ironically, age and financial, an academic status may not guarantee a lasting marital relationship. This is because maturity means different thing to different people. As you know marriage is not for boys or toddlers. It is for the matured by all standards. 

Getting it right before you walk down the aisle for the marital vow is important. So, while you’re dating or courting you must find out you are not dating a toddler. Therefore, I will show you 12 signs you are dating a toddler. This becomes necessary as dating a toddler now will pitch you on the wrong side of marital bliss.

According to Wikipedia the word toddler formed from “to toddle” meaning.  Few of the attributes of a toddler includes but not limited to the following. They are selfish, throw tantrum, dependent, emotional imbalance and seek immediate gratification.

To illustrate you’re dating an immature person, I have these list of character traits to watch out for in your relationship.

  1. Dependant: A sign you’re dating a toddler is that he cannot do anything on his own without a guide. Therefore, people preparing to marry must be matured enough to take a decision. As you know, a toddler needed someone that will guide him in eating, dressing, walking, etc. If he or she cannot take a decision on career, relationship, spirituality, personal development, then it’s time for you to have a rethink on the future of this deal.
  2. He or She thinks only about now: Children live for today alone. If your fiancée does not think beyond now on issues of saving, personal development, eternity, etc, then it is obvious you’re courting a toddler.
  3. Selfish–One characteristic of a baby is selfishness. If you are dating a toddler all he or she cares is his or her satisfaction. Then, you are in a wrong boat. The marital relationship should be of mutual benefit. But, where your partner’s welfare and the benefit is his or her watch out. Each time you talk about your own goal and aspiration the tempo goes down. At the same time whenever a benefit accrues to you, he/she will want to share in it. But, when he or she hit a jackpot you rarely know about it. You’re definitely dating a toddler. If your partner will always want to be on top of his game with no serious consideration for you. He or she is immature.
  4. Trivia things matter so much: While children’s whims over little things. A mature person overlooks trivia issues. But when your own personal picks offense at issues that should not call for reckoning, think twice about the continuity of the relationship. He is still a child. For instance, an issue like remaining stipend on the last purchase, how you answer his friend’s use of data on his phone, the last call you missed, repeating the same hair-do, choice of eatery or recreation center you should go. Then you’re journeying with a toddler.
  5. Level of attachment: Generally, it is not difficult to know if you are dating a toddler. For instance, children are attached to their parent and things. You’ll see a child sleeping with his toy attached to his chest or arm. Likewise, if your fiancée is immature, he will be attached to his parents, friends, properties, phones over your planned future. When a man especially is tied to his parent’s apron it is doubtful if a wife will comfortably sit in his home. If things like his career, car, possession take pre-eminence over your cooperate joy and benefit surely you are in a wrong relationship. You’ll notice this in his or statement. Since people talk often about their core value.
  6. Not discipline on over his sleep and appetite: A toddler sleeps on the average of 10 hours per night. You are in a relationship with a kid if the person cannot curtail his sleeping and eating desire. Obesity and poverty are close to such a person. If it goes on abated till you marry, then be ready to bear the brunt of high responsibility. But, now you know it is a sign of dating a toddler. You can put your relationship vehicle in a reverse gear.
  7. Unrestrained anger: Part of emotional imbalance is anger. When babies are angry, they destroy things without second thought. You will see signs of immaturity in the voice and reaction of your fiancée when things do not go their way. Such people cannot control their anger. Besides that, they use uncultured words. Also, they never mind whether they are in public or not as long as they can vent their anger at will. They speak before they think. Though may apologize later but the deed is done already. You’re worse for it if the gap between you and him or her wide is financially, spiritually, academically, and in age. They misbehave as if the present seemly negative situation is all there is.
  8. Place less or no value on appearance: Look doesn’t matter. Does a two or three year’s old kid care what you put on him or what you wear? Surely not! If your would-be spouse cares less about how he or she you look then his reasoning is about that of a child. Mind your outward appearance is a reflection of inward maturity. Such people look unkempt. Their kitchen and bathroom is an eyesore. If such people have body odor deodorant is not in their budget.  Who cares if they have mouth odor? But if you are dating a toddler who cares.
  9. Emotional imbalance: One attribute of a matured person is emotional stability. However, if the person you are courting caved in at every inch of challenges. Know that handling greater challenges in your marriage will be near impossible. Children’s way of reacting to the unpleasant situation is to cry. Though, crying may be beneficial at times. But when it becomes a spontaneous response to an uncomfortable situation. Childhood attitude is on display.
  10. Adaptability: This is one of the traits of a toddler. No wonder they can go with anyone that meets their needs. Even if that person has an ulterior motive. You are dating a toddler if he or she could adapt to any negative influence around him like a chameleon. That means if family, friends, neighbors, fellow workers, online information changes his stand on the major issue in his life and your relationship. The implication is if he is a man he will not be able to take charge of his home against external negative influence and aggression.
  11. Poor memory: When you deny a child of certain benefit they really call to memory you previous benevolence. They always want to have it their way. This is one sign to know if you are dating a toddler or not. Whenever you deny him or her perceived right or benefit, or whenever he dwells so much on your flaws and not taking cognizance of your good deeds. If all the time he complains about unanswered prayers, his bad uncle, the church leaders who refuse to help. Then, you need to watch your back.
  12. Always want something for nothing: It is natural for a toddler to desire something without paying any price. If you are in a relationship with a lazy fellow, it calls for concern. He or she daydreams about great achievement without any blueprint on how to achieve that, beloved you are courting a toddler. Such people claim to be people of prayer and faith. They forgot God not only desire a world inhabited by men. He went to work by speaking them into existence and went through stress creating Adam. God was not a wishful thinker but an action taker.

To sum up, knowing whether you are dating a toddler not only save time and save energy but, shield you from a harrowing marital experience in the future.

What is your evaluation of your current relationship in the light of the above signs of dating a toddler?

Is this post of any benefit to you?

Do not leave without having a say in the comment below.







sins of silence

Avoid These Top 3 Sins of Silence Now, or You’ll Hate Yourself Later.


Silence is good. Do not break it if you cannot improve it. As good as that statement may be there is a time when our silence compound issues rather than preventing conflict. Sometimes we keep silent because we don’t want to rock the boat of our relationship with people. At such a time, we may commit what I called 3 sins of silence. Usually, everybody wants others to see them as preserving the unity of the fellowship and community. But, it will do more damage when no one is ready to speak up when an error is committed. Whenever we fail to confront evil and error, we would end up committing one of the three sins of silence. The best way to deal with cancer is to remove it.

In fact, I am writing this post because of my recent experience with one of my female group leader. Well, I am from a male-dominated society in the community, nation, and church. She had an issue with some members of her team who is not committed to the vision of the ministry. As the district coordinator, I promised to see her pastor so we could affect changes. This becomes necessary because I had spoken earlier with these people about their inconsistency and lack of commitment. She called me later not to speak to her pastor on the issue. Why? She doesn’t want the people to know she had reported them. Now, my assumption is she is afraid of opposition, rejection, and rebuke.

When I looked at the scenario, I concluded she had committed three sins of silence. Apparently, this silence has indulged several people to continue in error and sin unabated. Any of these sins can kill your dream or vision.

We need to look at the biblical definition of sin.  Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness1 John 3:4.  If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is a sin for them James 4:17Now we can look at these three sins of silence one after the other.

1-    Sin against God: You’ll end up sinning against God when you keep silent where you are supposed to talk. Why? God has a purpose for placing you wherever you find yourself. The disciples of Jesus recognize this when they spoke unequivocally their purpose for living Acts 4:20. You’ve committed the sin of silence against God who appointed you when you fail to speak up when and where necessary Isaiah 58, Ezekiel 3: 18-19. You are indirectly giving your consent when you are silent on wrongdoings, sin, and injustice. For instance, Paul the Apostle was not one of those who stoned Stephen to death. But he didn’t, say no, in fact, he held the clothes of those who did the act.

When you hear or see something bad in your office, school, fellowship, family and community you are to speak up. You seem not to see the gravity of such evil as God would. At the same time, you give preference to others, your personality than Gods.

By the way, we sometimes forget the reasons why God placed us at the helm of the affair or in a system. He knew things will sometimes go wrong. And they do go wrong. Failure to speak up means we do not know our authority and we are not competent in God’s estimation. So, when next you are tempted to shy away from speaking up, be reminded you are about to commit one of the sins of silence. Jesus never minces word when He rebuked people messing around in the temple John 2:14

2-    Sin against yourself: It is so amazing how we do shoot ourselves on the feet while maintaining status quo Psalm 32:3. The sin of silence is not only committed against God but, yourself. What a great heartache, bitterness, anger, frustration, regret people pass through because they wanted to satisfy people or team member. Most times these erring member, teammate, friend or family never knew the great disservice you are doing to yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself does not include glossing over sin. Our master Jesus or the disciples never goes pleasing people by keeping silent when he ought to speak.

Do you know that every human being will not naturally want to keep the rules? Why? It violates the ego of man. So, someone has to whip people back to the line. This is where you come in. If you now keep silent you’ll be committing the sin of silence against yourself. 

While you think you’re preserving the relationship things are getting worse. Unfortunately, evil is more contagious than good. Right in your presence, the whole system gets corrupted.  You ended up disappointing both God and the leaders that appointed you. Worse still, the people you’re protecting will still condemn you for incompetence and moves to another sphere. You’re the loser for it. In the end, you lose on all fronts: God, men and yourself. Paul’s sharp rebuke of Peter saved the day. Both for this revered Apostle and the church.

3-    Sin against others: When I was growing up we heard a story of a man who chopped off his mother’s hear at the point of execution. The man claimed her mother never corrected her when he was bringing other children’s properties home as a kid. The woman could have avoided the sin of silence if she had spoken up earlier. Occasionally people misbehave not willingly but that was the best they could put up. At such time they needed someone to point them to the right path. Your quietness instead of helping them compound the situation. We are our brother’s keeper whether as a leader, follower or team member.

As a result of your unholy silence, some committed and trustworthy follower will feel betrayed and disappointed in your leadership. You’ll end up sending the wrong signal to these people that it doesn’t pay to do the right thing.

Incidentally, the best leaders do not see everything at the same time. Therefore, you are to act as the eyes and ear of your leader as you serve. Whichever way, your continued silence will not help. It will be a sin against those who do not know better if you are silent when you could speak. You can be sure that those sincerely wrong will levy sin of silence against you if they discovered you never corrected them or point their attention to their error. Paul’s sharp rebuke of Peter’s behavior saved the day. Both for this revered Apostle and the church Galatians 2:11.


In all, silence is beautiful if we apply it correctly. However, we’ll end up committing the sins of silence if we keep quiet when we are supposed to talk. If God had kept quiet, the people would have built the tower of Babel to compete with him.

Have you suffered any pain as a result of your undue silence? What area do you think you need to start speaking up now? Add your voice in the comment box.

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what not to do when marriage delays

What Not To Do When Marriage Delays

 1 Samuel 13:8-10,Psalm 13:1, Romans 8:28, Hebrews 11:6, Habakkuk2:3, Ezekiel 12:28

Human beings are social beings. Therefore, one major area of sociality is marriage. But if marriage delays reactions and counter-reactions follow. At such times spontaneous negative behavior is exhibited. So what are the don’ts when marriage delays?

Unfortunately, negative reaction rather than improve the situation compound it the more. I agreed it is natural for people at this level to assume the world is falling round about them. When marriage delays feeling of loneliness and a sense of being an outcast among one’s peers heightens. At that stage, the voice of reasoning, especially from the married, is misunderstood.  They’ll see them as not being emphatic enough with their plight. They interpret the encouraging words of people in the same shoe with them as that of a drowned man seeking a companion. What are these don’ts when marriage delays that the concerned people must know?

I could give more things you shouldn’t do as you await your spouse. But I will compress them into four. Why you shouldn’t do any or these things. It is because doing so is akin to kissing your marital dream goodbye.

1- Do not be bitter with God: Naturally, we sometimes blame God for our mishap. We reasoned after all he is all knowing and all powerful. Hence he should have prevented that or do something. This is true. But, something he wouldn’t do certain things for reasons best known to him. And marriage is one of such.

Bitterness against God is one of the don’ts when marriage delays. Ignoring this will pitch you against God your creator. As such, you block other chances of his benevolence. Doing so also signal to God he knows less than the bible claimed about him. Don’t forget being bitter against God changes nothing. Instead, it complicates it. Though, God understands your grief, yet, he owes you no explanation for what he permitted including the marital delay. Job had an impeccable record confirmed by God. He demanded from God reasons for his predicament. However, instead of God giving him an answer he asks further questions which has nothing to do with Job’s issue.

Because of your vendetta against God, you may want to drop some spiritual assignment in your hand. You may conclude spiritual exercises are a waste of time. After all, those who do less even, gentiles are having a filled day. These are what not to do when marriage delays. It may tempt you to conclude your years in the world are better. That is the statement of the backslider. But, you are not. Once a while you may ask where God is when I hurt. That is an unfriendly way to treat a God who not only preserve you in the womb but also, kept you thus far.

2 – Don’t shift blame: Pessimist people often blame others, their parents, background and things for their situation. While the optimist looks past their limitation to chart a new frontier.

One thing you should never do when marriage delays is to blame your parents. Don’t forget you can choose where you’ll live but not your parent or where you’ll be born. That you’re alive is enough to be grateful for having parents in the first instance.

Yes, what they did or fail to do may have an effect on their children including marital delay. But, you can unwind the clock to your favor with resilience, prayer, and positive attitude. God commanded children to obey their parents and this includes bad ones. So, if Jesus mandated us to love everyone then, our parents are inclusive.

Who knows if your marital delay is not unconnected with your negative disposition to your parents? Unfortunately, many young people had turned their back against their parents. This is courtesy of the prophets or men of God. Their reason “your mother is a witch”. Always remember what goes round comes round. What if the prophet was wrong afterward? A crime against one’s parent is a crime against God.

Bitterness in any form drains your energy spiritually, emotionally and physically. Do you know who is watching your disposition to your parents? A suitor may just be observing your home social etiquette. Perhaps, someone out there is listening to your parent’s comments about your attitude. These side talk or comment may be the final arbitrary to getting your own spouse or not. If you are spiritual enough you’ll know your parent’s happiness has a bit of impact on your life. So, do not incur their open or secret curses.

3 – Don’t be hard on yourself: Apart from God, no one decides your fate more than you do. Life is a reflection of what you make out of it. The greatest disservice you can do to yourself while your marriage tarries is to be bitter.

I agree when marriage delays it sometimes feels the world is crumbling around you. The devil makes you think yours is the worse. Nothing is farther from the truth than this.

There are reasons why you cannot afford to be mad at yourself because of your delay in marriage. For instance, your emotional state will affect every other aspect of your life. It affects your concentration and retention capacity. Your emotional state reflects in your disposition to people around you.

Experience shows those who had a delay in marriage, divorced and single parents are less friendly with married people.

If you allow this situation to take its toll on you, you’ll become aggressive, moody and unhappy. The resultant effect is you drive away people from you. Instead of making more friends you’ll create a hostile environment around you.

If you are in business you’ll have an unhappy customer who only patronizes you for lack of an alternative at least for now. As a salesperson, you will not be able to retain the customer and obviously your boss fires you.

Physically you look unattractive as it reflects on your face. This makes you unapproachable by people. Aside from that, you grow older than your age without knowing it. Why? Your face muscles contrast earlier than expected and you age faster. As a result of that, your chances of finding the right partner becomes slimmer. Your anxiety increases and your blood pressure spikes up. Guess what? Your health deteriorates speedily. Then the obvious happens, stroke, heart failure, and death. What a misguided way to end an obvious glorious destiny because of delay in marriage.

Beloved, you are better of delayed now for few more moment than losing your life and destiny. Remember delay is not denial. I can hear your marriage bell in a short distance.

4 – Don’t sell yourself cheap: This is applicable to male and female. While it is natural to be agitated for the marital delay. Desperation could lead to taking a hasty decision that leaves untold pain on its part for the rest of your life. Marriage is not a quick fix to loneliness. It is neither an escape route from family responsibility nor antidote to sexual pressure.

Getting married for the wrong reasons not only compounds the stress it is a sure way of courting untold pain and grief. If you are too desperate, close allies can capitalize on this to offer ungodly options. Never fall for this. You’ve waited long enough to be married to just anybody.

Some are so disillusioned about their case that marrying an unbeliever seems as the next best option. You have something precious some unsuspecting gentile will do anything to get. So never consider to marrying an unbeliever under whatever guise. Do you know why? Your marriage had a direct implication on your life and eternity. Today, many who married wrongly wishes they can unwind the clock because of the dire consequences they’re now suffering.

I am not unaware that yielding to the aforementioned suggestions is not easy. After all, I once had my own share of marital delay. These tips saved me and today are all history. If you key into these tips you’ll thank me for it on your soon-coming wedding day. Adopting this style will not only save you from an untimely death but also, prepare you physically, spiritually and emotional sound for life after marriage.

One key to finding the right person to marry is to create a friendly atmosphere for yourself. This includes your home, work, school, church, and neighborhood. Mind you, husband or wife will not drop from heaven. We get our spouses from among people. So, been happy, making people happy and creating a regular happy moment is a guarantee to attracting the right people.

Doing otherwise makes your chances dicey. It is great reading what not to do when marriage delays. But, happy are you if you act on them.

Are you guilty of any points listed above?

Is there any of the tips you find difficult to implement?

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truth about eternal security

The truth about eternal security: what Armenian and Calvinist are missing


The doctrine of eternal security and pre-destination are two Biblical doctrines that divide the church more than any other thing. In an attempt to present the truth about eternal security Christians are divided along Calvinism and Arminianism.

The discord arises for two reasons. One, the conservative adherents not ready to accept the opposing view different from theirs. They concluded this without given the other party fair hearing. Two, those who exploit the weakness of these teaching to support their lackadaisical and sinful way of life to the detriment of the unsuspecting believers and new converts.

Mind you, both Calvin and Arminius are the contemporary of Martin Luther. They all emerge during the great reformation. Both had a good intention of what today had become a dividing factor among Christians.

What do these two great minds teach? Calvinism is named after John Calvin, a French theologian (1509-1564). Arminianism is based on the Biblical interpretation taught by Jacobus Arminius, a Dutch theologian who lived between (1560-1609).

If you do enough research and study, you’ll discover that on both sides we have liberal minds who do not believe totally what their camps hold. For instance, some Arminius does not come to term with all their five-point agenda such as conditional salvation. This is in tandem with Calvinism theory of eternal security.

This same goes with “four-point Calvinism” otherwise known as moderate Calvinism. At times it is called Amyraldism named after Moses Amyraut. This faction of Calvinist believes only a four-point of Calvinism five-point teachings. They rejected the limited atonement of Calvinism for the unlimited atonement of sinners as taught by the Arminist. So, to be fair to both party, I see a little of this in that.

For us to know the truth about eternal salvation, let us see what each group teaches:

 Calvinism explains the theory of salvation by the acronym “TULIP”.

T -Total depravity: Humans through his own free will could not choose salvation because they are lost in sin. Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 3:23.

U- Unconditional Election: only those who are chosen by God are saved. This is the prerogative of God before the creation and before each one is born Ephesians 1:4, Romans. 9:16, Galatians. 1:15.

L- Limited Atonement: Jesus died only for those God had chosen for salvation and not every sinner. 1Samuel 3:14, Matthew 6:12, Luke 11:4.

I- Irresistible grace: It is God who makes those who yielded to salvation by his power, not the sinner’s choice or desire. He cannot prevent his salvation Prov. 21:1, Rom. 9:18.

P- Perseverance of the saints: It teaches that saved souls are secured in Christ so that they cannot lose their salvation no matter what they do thereafter.

In putting the teaching on salvation in proper biblical theory Jacob Arminius who lived between 1560 -1609 created an acronym he called FACTS which becomes the foundation of the Arminism.

F – Freed by grace to believe: this implies grace for salvation is for everyone. You can use accept the offer of salvation or reject it.

A – Atonement for all. The death of Jesus atoned for all mankind and not a selective atonement.

C – Conditional election: Those who are served the one that keyed into salvation plan of God, through their belief in Jesus.

T – Total depravity: all human being is generally a loss of their sin since the fall in Eden.

S – Security in Christ: Our salvation is secured in Christ.

The following are my discovery summation on the five-point agenda of both Calvinism and Arminianism looking from the Bible lens. (i) Depravity (ii) Election (iii) Redemption or atonement (iv) Grace (v) Eternal security.

Depravity: According to the Calvinism human is totally depraved as stated in Gen6:5. With this fact in the place that is not enough to deny that man do not have a portion in him that admit his shortcomings and crave for God. As expected the flesh and the devil contend with this desire.

 Don’t also forget the difference between animal and man is the spirit of God in man. We can see this in the reaction of the Adam when he sinned. He was afraid to meet God because of his sin tainted life. Calvinism insisted that sinful man in this state cannot seek God on his own without God drawing him. That, therefore, means he is programmed to do God’s bidding whether or not he likes it.

 But, when you look at Zacchaeus and Cornelius Luke 9:1-10 Acts 10:31. Both men though depraved yet, they sought God. Interestingly, both men had the world going for them as far as a physical achievement on this side of life. There is this vacuum seeking to be filled with something outside of them. They knew they needed something outside. So, every human being carries the capacity to seek God. Read God’s statement about Cornelius. Acts10:31. All it takes is man harnessing his power of choice. Jesus never preached to the thief by his right-hand side yet, he seeks for salvation.

On this, Dr. Curtis Hutson opined that sinners are even called through their conscience before a preacher speaks to them according to Romans 2:11-16. According to him, it is not a matter of whether you can come to Christ; it is a matter of whether you will come to Christ.

Election: Calvinism held that God does the election or selection for salvation. This is not based on whatever man has done or could do. It implies that God chooses some for salvation while others for destruction. That would not be scripturally correct as this negates God’s global appeal and offer in the following scriptures John 3:16-18, John 1:12. 

The stance of Arminist is a conditional election. This does not mean man salvation is the reward of his good work. Yet, he is supposed to show his salvation through good works. James 2:14-26 in the election for salvation. God’s part is contained in Ezekiel 18:23-33:11 2Peter 3:9. Arminius’s principle of election does not say man contributed to the work of salvation. Of course, that will infer salvation is based on work and not on grace. Paul L. Freeman believed John Calvin err on the limited election. He reasoned If God commanded us to love and pray for everybody including our enemies then, He wouldn’t have created some people for destruction.

Redemption or Atonement: Calvinism teaches the redemption work of Jesus can only atone for the sins of the elected of God. But, the Bible teaches Jesus died for all including those who ever will live. Despite, not everybody will enjoy this providence. But, only those who through repentance come to Jesus.

For instance, Jesus wept over Jerusalem for their unbelief. Calvin’s belief is inconsistent with John 3: 15, 16,18,21,33,36 especially the word “whosoever” or “anyone” which place salvation on man’s choice. Other scriptures that God wants all to be saved. Not only is that Jesus’ atonement for all. These scriptures attest to this in Ezekiel 18:32. 3:17-19. One truth about eternal security is the statement and commandment of Jesus on the great commission. If God had decided whom he would save then, evangelism is a share wasted effort. Will the effort of the early Apostles and Christian martyr not be in vain?

Grace: It is God who makes those he chose to yield to salvation, not the sinner’s choice or desire. He cannot prevent his salvation Prov. 21:1, Rom. 9:18.

Calvinism teaches God will save some people whether or not they like it. It implies then that even if nobody preaches to sinners, those predetermined by God will save them anyway. If sinners will be saved without their consent then the human is not different from animals or robot

Eternal security: Another name for this is perseverance of the saints: Calvin teaches that a saved soul is so secured in Christ that they cannot lose their salvation no matter what they do thereafter.

As we look at the doctrine of eternal security I think we will do well to first look at salvation and who is truly saved. What is Salvation? Salvation is the deliverance from sin and its eternal result. Salvation is eternal, it is not about now. The essence of salvation is to deliver us from the penalty of sin committed in the Garden of Eden and those other ones we committed on our own.

Remember, another truth about eternal salvation is that we are saved does not shield us from the penalty of sin while on earth. God forgave David yet, the child from the illicit affair died. Despite the personal good credential of Eli and Samuel, their children will not continue in the priesthood office. This is because of their failure on parental responsibility.

Who is saved? Mathew 24:13, Ezekiel 18:24. The mentioned bible passages succinctly established it that only those who stayed in God at death are the saved soul. An example is Judas Iscariot and the thief by the right hand of Jesus. What do you think would have happened if Judas had repented after betraying Jesus? I believe he would have been forgiven. Did he lose his salvation?

Let us look at the evidence. Judas committed a crime against God and the state by committing suicide.

What comes to your mind anytime you read the following statement? Strive to enter Luke 13:24. Do not allow anyone to takes your Crown Revelation 3:3. Contend for the faith once delivered Jude 3. Since the time of John the Baptist Matthew 11:12. Hold fast Hebrew 3:14. These Bible passages point to the truth about the part which believers have to play for the sustenance of his salvation through the grace of God. All the letters of Jesus apart from that of the Philadelphia are warnings that one could lose his salvation.

What do you make of Samson’s story? An angel predicted his birth. If we go by Calvin’s teaching, we could ask the following questions. Did God ordain Samson’s fall before creation? Couldn’t God prevented him from falling into sin and died with the enemies? Did God withdraw his hand of security from Samson to warrant his fall? Samson’s statement reveals a man who believes in charisma without character. He believed so much in eternal security irrespective of how you live thereafter. Perhaps, Samson was also a Calvinist.

We have no part in the work of our salvation, yet; we are not without responsibility to defend it. Why couldn’t God, stop Eve from eating the forbidden fruit? It is because God created them a free moral agent and not a robot. If you are in doubt about the possibility of a Christian losing his salvation, then read this.

Now, if we go by eternal security stance of Calvinism. Are their people or nation elected or appointed by God, who through their willpower denounce or wasted such an opportunity? Yes, we have them. The following examples should suffice.

  • Lots wife: I don’t know how many of us have had a personal encounter with angels. Mind you, it was an angel sent from God for her family’s salvation that held her hand. That is a literal and physical salvation from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. God decided to save her, but she declined the offer. Lot’s wife broke off from the angel. If God had not appointed her for salvation would he have sent an angel in the first place? Note the angel never insisted against her will.
  • People in the days of Noah: God never intended the ark to harbor only eight people. God made a way of escape, but the people refused that salvation.
  • Saul the first King: It was God who chose Saul himself. But he could not sustain that selection. The people or Samuel has no say about it.
  • Eli and his lineage: If you compare the two passages of the scripture you’ll see God’ appointment and how Eli blew up the future of his generation by his choice.

Once saved is not forever saved. In other words, the truth about eternal salvation is that it is for those who endured to the end.

These examples prove even if God appointed a person for salvation he/she could jettison that offer. Therefore, to say once saved is forever saved will not only be wrong but against the principle of choice embedded in the human being.

The doctrine of the eternal security sells because of those Christian who seek a convenient way of serving the Lord with no pain attached. Often, such beleivers ask the question where is God when I hurt? Their reason is they were never told Christian journey is filled with thorns at times.

Unfortunately, for such fellows Matt Slick who is an ardent believer in the principle of eternal explained otherwise. He presented the truth about eternal security. As expected of a true translator of the bible the truth about eternal security is that it is not a cover for sinfulness. Though, this may sound like a shock to some conservative or hard-line Calvinist.  Matt Slick submitted that those who claim to be eternally secured who went on to commit sin on purpose are not saved in the first place. His reason is that such beliefs would negate the word of God as contained in 1 John 2:4. Yes, the truth of the bible is that God is capable of securing our salvation it is not a license for us to continue in sin deliberately.

When refuting the teaching of eternal security John Davis asked if it were not possible for one to lose his salvation why did Paul pray that he should not be a castaway 1 Cor. 9:24-27? This he supported with other scriptures. Hebrews. 2:1, 4:11,12:15,10:28, 2 Peter 3:17, Galatians. 1:6. Therefore, the truth about eternal security is that a beleiver can lose his salvation if he is not careful.

This is my submission. If even you believe in eternal security your striving daily to live for God will not only preserve you here but also, ultimately secure you in the hereafter.

What is your take on the truth about eternal security?

Do you think believers can have a middle course where we could both agree?

Add your voice to this discussion in the comment box below. Don’t also forget to share this on your favorite social media as you like my page.



man in various level of backsliding

3 Level of Backsliding No Televangelist Will Ever Tell You


The word backsliding is typically a biblical term. The backslider is often unaware of these levels of backsliding until it becomes too late. Though the word backsliding is not a compound word if separated it carries two meanings. This makes it simpler to interpret. The words are “back” and “slide”. Spiritually, “back” means moving away from God and all that pleases him. On the other hand, it means moving towards what displeases God. That said, “Slide” implies a slip or drifting away but, this time backward.

 Understanding these levels of backsliding is germane to our Christian living. Why? All things being equal anyone of us can backslide and the end disastrous. It will also serve as a caution to every seemly standing Christian. 2peter 2:20-22, Luke 9:62, Hebrew 2:1-3

1- The doubter: The first level of backsliders is the doubter. This level of backsliding is the first stage in the series of steps that eventually lead to backsliding. These types of a backslider were once Christians. They have confessed Jesus as their Lord and savior. At the beginning of their Christian race, God was real to them. Perhaps they have preached the gospel of the Lord as well. Maybe they’ve even cast out demons. At times they have gotten to a certain height in the ministry. They have tasted heavenly glory. However, at this level of backsliding, the person began to doubt the existence of God. The reality and reward for the believers and punishment for the sinner seem not to be real again.

To these types of backsliders, God is no longer working miracles as he uses to do. The promises of the scripture seem archaic. These types of backsliders see their days in sin and the world better than today. They celebrate the past than the present. According to this type of backslider righteousness no longer pays. After all, the lives of their unbelieving friends are better than their own.

 Most times these sets of backsliders wonder where God is when I hurt. Whenever they pray, they expect instant answers because God has done it before. But, now their prayers seem to hit the ceiling. Just like John the Baptist they’ve defended and proclaimed the name of Jesus. So, it is time for Jesus to reciprocate by coming to their aid Matthew 11:13. Once they didn’t see this happening then, it’s time to look for other alternatives.

2- The retractor: The second types of a backslider are the refractors. At this stage, they have moved from the level of doubting their Christian faith to returning to the old sinful state as a dog that returns to its vomit Proverbs26:11. At this stage, the ways of life that they once rejected are now their desire and pleasure. Their former sinful acquaintances are once again their close ally. They once had a passion for the things of God but gradually the passion is dying. And today, they no longer have the passion for Godly issues any longer.

 Backsliding Christian once valued prayer, and all forms of spiritual exercises, but, now the pleasures of the world have overtaken them. Social engagement has to take the place of spiritual engagement. Usually, what you value takes the best of your time. Before now, bible study, prayer, evangelism and visitation were their preoccupation. But that is history today. One of the signs of this level of backsliding is to ignore correction. They frown at discipline and rebuke. Most times they shy away from people who will correct or rebuke them. They prefer the gospel of convenience to the old path Christianity.

 Before long they begin to preach the doctrine of eternal security. According to them the principle of once saved forever saved hold sways today. Though they’ve renounced adultery, now they don’t see anything wrong with pornography and masturbation. Once, they abhor alcohol in its entirety but now one or two glasses of alcohol do no harm. As a true Christian they used to preach against indecent dresses but as at today, their song includes liberty in the mode of dress. At this level of backsliding “God understands “is their slogan.

 In all what they had earlier rejected is what they now celebrated. In all types of backsliding, they are now the opposite of what they used to be spiritually then. While they were in Christ God was first in their priority but now other things have taken that position. Any form of backsliding saddens the mind of God and puts the sinner on the side of eternal damnation.

3- Apostate: This is a period when a person has rejected in totality the existence of God, his power, and the possibility of eternal judgment. Before a Christian gets to this level of backsliding, he or she must have through the first two stages. They have gotten to a level that could almost be termed “point of no return” about the existence of God his power, love, and judgment Hebrews 6:4-10. At such a state, apostasy has set in. Don’t forget these set of people have once tasted the power and reality of God’s deliverance and provision once. At this level of backsliding, you do not have any Bible passage that can speak to them any longer.

According to them God and men have forgotten them. They see their situation as irredeemable. Most times these set of people weigh their pity and spiritual and commitment to what they are passing through. Therefore, they concluded God is not fair to them. At times they bring up bible passage as evidence to prove their case. Such passages of the scripture include but not intended to these. Then they reasoned it either God is no longer who he claimed to be or he used the scripture to cajole them into accepting the Christian faith.

 To worsen the case this type of believer will cite several examples of unbelievers who are having good times. Remember David also ran into this illusion as recorded. And honestly, there were people who were both physically and secretly terrible yet they are having a good run for their life. When you come across this type of backslider, they will prove to you how much they have served God. At times they’ll show you people who came to the Lord through them. But, they wonder why their own life’s story is different when the wicked are have a good testimony?

I wouldn’t deny the truth that most Christians get to tried and reach a period of despondency when everything is in six and seven. We pray nothing happens, we observe vigil no result. In addition to that, we added various forms of fasting to no avail. We speak in tongues, bind and cast out the devil and nothing changes. Then we examine our lives by God’s grace we have no conviction of any sin. At that time we are tempted to ask why me? But, instead of refracting from faith, we encourage ourselves like David 1Samuel 30:6. We talk to friends and senior ministers Proverb 27:17. And with their support, encouragement, and prayers we are back on our feet. However, the case of the backslider is not so. They dwell so much on the past that they lose the benefit of today.

Any of the mentioned levels of backsliding can shipwreck our spiritual boat if we are careless. We really noticed backsliding at the early stage. If addressed earlier, we could nip the apostasy stage in the bud before it gets out of hand. Regrettably, any careless living by the best of us can get us down the lane of backsliding.2 Corinthian 13:5

Do you any other level of backsliding before apostasy stage that I omitted? You can add them to the comment box

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dream fulfillment strategies

12 Dream Fulfillment Strategies That Guarantee A Happy Life

12 Dream Fulfillment Strategies That Guarantee  A Happy Life

Dream, like a plant, needs to be nurtured with patience and tenacity if you want fruition. Since God operates by the principle, dream fulfillment strategies are principles that will make your dream go beyond a wish to accomplish. You’ve heard this saying before “If wishes were horses, even a fool will ride”. Genesis chapter 1 and chapter 2 gave a vivid illustration of the difference between a wish and a dream. A wishful thinker leaves his life and destiny to chance. A dreamer works out his dream and destiny. In the above-mentioned scripture (God had a dream to create the human-inhabited world). So he applied those dream fulfillment strategies.Continue reading

Two love joined in Godly marriage principles

Godly Marriage Principles Every Youth Should Know

Godly Marriage Principles Every Youth Should Know.

Today there are several alternatives to Godly marriage principles. It is therefore not surprising why the rate of divorce is on the increase. Many people, including Christians, are enduring their marriage instead of enjoying them. Most held onto their marriage vows because of their status in the church and society. Though this group appears to be together outside at home, they are miles apartContinue reading