what forgiveness doesn't mean

Your Relationship Sucks? Check What Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean

Every one of us jumped at receiving forgiveness quicker than given it. Most time our relationship becomes strenuous and acidic because we are unable to come to term with what forgiveness is not. We would have a robust relationship if only we understand what forgiveness doesn’t mean and who wins when we forgive.
God commands forgiveness. In fact, we win when we forgive. Understanding what forgiveness doesn’t mean will not only guide us against abusing the right of others but also engender a robust and healthy relationship.
Here I have a few of these things that are not forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are a fool. Naturally, we feel cheated when people deny us our rights. At that time, we are tempted to pay them in their own coin. But as a child of God, you bear it not because you are a fool. God repeatedly had compassion on the people of Israelite but when they abused it he punished them. Read more »

who wins when we forgive

Who Wins When We Forgive

 

 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

 It is a privilege to forgive and to be forgiven. Yet, most of us including me will jump at receiving forgiveness rather than forgiven others.

 But who wins when we forgive: The one who wins when we forgive depends on our understanding of the concept of what forgiveness is not and what is forgiveness. Forgiveness means releasing the offender of his offense unconditionally without demanding compensation, Matthew. 18: 21–27.

Unresolved conflict is not unconnected with our failure to forgive. The simple reason is our interest is on who wins when we forgive than resolving our differences. It is inherent in the human being to win all the time including winning every argument over the other person. But, when we are defeated we feel sad about it because we couldn’t take our pound of flesh. Read more »

reasons why marriages fail

8 Must Know Preventable Reasons Why Marriages Fail

Naturally, no one set out to fail in marriage. But, the rate of divorce and marriage failure is on the increase. Thus, the question of reasons marriages fail calls for concern. More importantly, no marriage is insulated from this scourge and Christian marriage is not an exempted. This post on reasons why marriages fail will not only help young people advert this ugly trend of divorce. But, help marriages in dilemma X-ray their relationship to fix the missing link before their marriage finally hit the rock. Let us look at some factors that aided failed marriages

1. Starting on a wrong footing: One major reason marriages fail is a faulty foundation. Many people who went into marriage are ignorant of the dynamics of marriage. When you base your marital union on wrong societal values, parental and peer pressure, deception, financial benefit, cultural bias, and selfish interest then you are standing on a faulty foundation. Read more »

faulty marriage foundation

Faulty Marriage Foundation: The Genesis Of Failed Marriages.

Faulty Marriage Foundation: The Genesis Of Failed Marriages.

When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Psalms 11:3
It is the foundation of any building that determines its ability to withstand adverse weather. In the same vein, the foundation of marriage determines the durability or otherwise of such a relationship. Thus, if the foundation is faulty, then the collapse of the building is imminent. Though you may patch up along the line, the inevitable will still happen. A faulty foundation is a cause for the collapse of most marriages.
1. Impure relationship: Premarital sex and cohabitation are two aspects of an impure relationship that marred the foundation of a marriage. Premarital sex is unmarried people enjoy carnal gratification meant for married people. As a result, they set their marriage on a faulty foundation.
The second aspect is cohabitation. This is when two people not married lived and enjoyed a sexual relationship. Read more »

man and woman dating a toddler

12 Warning Signs You’re Dating A Toddler

One of the most complicated relationships is marriage. This is because it takes a high level of responsibility and maturity to keep a marriage.  Since maturity is germane to a happy marriage dating a toddler is starting on a wrong footing. By comparison, getting married is not as important as keeping it. Ironically, age and financial, an academic status may not guarantee a lasting marital relationship. This is because maturity means different thing to different people. As you know marriage is not for boys or toddlers. It is for the matured by all standards. 

Getting it right before you walk down the aisle for the marital vow is important. So, while you’re dating or courting you must find out you are not dating a toddler. Therefore, I will show you 12 signs you are dating a toddler. This becomes necessary as dating a toddler now will pitch you on the wrong side of marital bliss. Read more »

sins of silence

Avoid These Top 3 Sins of Silence Now, or You’ll Hate Yourself Later.

 

Silence is good. Do not break it if you cannot improve it. As good as that statement may be there is a time when our silence compound issues rather than preventing conflict. Sometimes we keep silent because we don’t want to rock the boat of our relationship with people. At such a time, we may commit what I called 3 sins of silence. Usually, everybody wants others to see them as preserving the unity of the fellowship and community. But, it will do more damage when no one is ready to speak up when an error is committed. Whenever we fail to confront evil and error, we would end up committing one of the three sins of silence. The best way to deal with cancer is to remove it.

In fact, I am writing this post because of my recent experience with one of my female group leader. Well, I am from a male-dominated society in the community, nation, and church. Read more »

what not to do when marriage delays

What Not To Do When Marriage Delays

 1 Samuel 13:8-10,Psalm 13:1, Romans 8:28, Hebrews 11:6, Habakkuk2:3, Ezekiel 12:28

Human beings are social beings. Therefore, one major area of sociality is marriage. But if marriage delays reactions and counter-reactions follow. At such times spontaneous negative behavior is exhibited. So what are the don’ts when marriage delays?

Unfortunately, negative reaction rather than improve the situation compound it the more. I agreed it is natural for people at this level to assume the world is falling round about them. When marriage delays feeling of loneliness and a sense of being an outcast among one’s peers heightens. At that stage, the voice of reasoning, especially from the married, is misunderstood.  They’ll see them as not being emphatic enough with their plight. They interpret the encouraging words of people in the same shoe with them as that of a drowned man seeking a companion. What are these don’ts when marriage delays that the concerned people must know? Read more »

truth about eternal security

The truth about eternal security: what Armenian and Calvinist are missing

 

The doctrine of eternal security and pre-destination are two Biblical doctrines that divide the church more than any other thing. In an attempt to present the truth about eternal security Christians are divided along Calvinism and Arminianism.

The discord arises for two reasons. One, the conservative adherents not ready to accept the opposing view different from theirs. They concluded this without given the other party fair hearing. Two, those who exploit the weakness of these teaching to support their lackadaisical and sinful way of life to the detriment of the unsuspecting believers and new converts.

Mind you, both Calvin and Arminius are the contemporary of Martin Luther. They all emerge during the great reformation. Both had a good intention of what today had become a dividing factor among Christians.

What do these two great minds teach? Calvinism is named after John Calvin, a French theologian (1509-1564). Arminianism is based on the Biblical interpretation taught by Jacobus Arminius, a Dutch theologian who lived between (1560-1609). Read more »

man in various level of backsliding

3 Level of Backsliding No Televangelist Will Ever Tell You

 

The word backsliding is typically a biblical term. The backslider is often unaware of these levels of backsliding until it becomes too late. Though the word backsliding is not a compound word if separated it carries two meanings. This makes it simpler to interpret. The words are “back” and “slide”. Spiritually, “back” means moving away from God and all that pleases him. On the other hand, it means moving towards what displeases God. That said, “Slide” implies a slip or drifting away but, this time backward.

 Understanding these levels of backsliding is germane to our Christian living. Why? All things being equal anyone of us can backslide and the end disastrous. It will also serve as a caution to every seemly standing Christian. 2peter 2:20-22, Luke 9:62, Hebrew 2:1-3

1- The doubter: The first level of backsliders is the doubter. This level of backsliding is the first stage in the series of steps that eventually lead to backsliding. Read more »