One of the most complicated relationships is marriage. This is because it takes a high level of responsibility and maturity to keep a marriage. Since maturity is germane to a happy marriage dating a toddler is starting on a wrong footing. By comparison, getting married is not as important as keeping it. Ironically, age and financial, an academic status may not guarantee a lasting marital relationship. This is because maturity means different thing to different people. As you know marriage is not for boys or toddlers. It is for the matured by all standards.
Getting it right before you walk down the aisle for the marital vow is important. So, while you’re dating or courting you must find out you are not dating a toddler. Therefore, I will show you 12 signs you are dating a toddler. This becomes necessary as dating a toddler now will pitch you on the wrong side of marital bliss.
According to Wikipedia the word toddler formed from “to toddle” meaning. Few of the attributes of a toddler includes but not limited to the following. They are selfish, throw tantrum, dependent, emotional imbalance and seek immediate gratification.
To illustrate you’re dating an immature person, I have these list of character traits to watch out for in your relationship.
- Dependant: A sign you’re dating a toddler is that he cannot do anything on his own without a guide. Therefore, people preparing to marry must be matured enough to take a decision. As you know, a toddler needed someone that will guide him in eating, dressing, walking, etc. If he or she cannot take a decision on career, relationship, spirituality, personal development, then it’s time for you to have a rethink on the future of this deal.
- He or She thinks only about now: Children live for today alone. If your fiancée does not think beyond now on issues of saving, personal development, eternity, etc, then it is obvious you’re courting a toddler.
- Selfish–One characteristic of a baby is selfishness. If you are dating a toddler all he or she cares is his or her satisfaction. Then, you are in a wrong boat. The marital relationship should be of mutual benefit. But, where your partner’s welfare and the benefit is his or her watch out. Each time you talk about your own goal and aspiration the tempo goes down. At the same time whenever a benefit accrues to you, he/she will want to share in it. But, when he or she hit a jackpot you rarely know about it. You’re definitely dating a toddler. If your partner will always want to be on top of his game with no serious consideration for you. He or she is immature.
- Trivia things matter so much: While children’s whims over little things. A mature person overlooks trivia issues. But when your own personal picks offense at issues that should not call for reckoning, think twice about the continuity of the relationship. He is still a child. For instance, an issue like remaining stipend on the last purchase, how you answer his friend’s use of data on his phone, the last call you missed, repeating the same hair-do, choice of eatery or recreation center you should go. Then you’re journeying with a toddler.
- Level of attachment: Generally, it is not difficult to know if you are dating a toddler. For instance, children are attached to their parent and things. You’ll see a child sleeping with his toy attached to his chest or arm. Likewise, if your fiancée is immature, he will be attached to his parents, friends, properties, phones over your planned future. When a man especially is tied to his parent’s apron it is doubtful if a wife will comfortably sit in his home. If things like his career, car, possession take pre-eminence over your cooperate joy and benefit surely you are in a wrong relationship. You’ll notice this in his or statement. Since people talk often about their core value.
- Not discipline on over his sleep and appetite: A toddler sleeps on the average of 10 hours per night. You are in a relationship with a kid if the person cannot curtail his sleeping and eating desire. Obesity and poverty are close to such a person. If it goes on abated till you marry, then be ready to bear the brunt of high responsibility. But, now you know it is a sign of dating a toddler. You can put your relationship vehicle in a reverse gear.
- Unrestrained anger: Part of emotional imbalance is anger. When babies are angry, they destroy things without second thought. You will see signs of immaturity in the voice and reaction of your fiancée when things do not go their way. Such people cannot control their anger. Besides that, they use uncultured words. Also, they never mind whether they are in public or not as long as they can vent their anger at will. They speak before they think. Though may apologize later but the deed is done already. You’re worse for it if the gap between you and him or her wide is financially, spiritually, academically, and in age. They misbehave as if the present seemly negative situation is all there is.
- Place less or no value on appearance: Look doesn’t matter. Does a two or three year’s old kid care what you put on him or what you wear? Surely not! If your would-be spouse cares less about how he or she you look then his reasoning is about that of a child. Mind your outward appearance is a reflection of inward maturity. Such people look unkempt. Their kitchen and bathroom is an eyesore. If such people have body odor deodorant is not in their budget. Who cares if they have mouth odor? But if you are dating a toddler who cares.
- Emotional imbalance: One attribute of a matured person is emotional stability. However, if the person you are courting caved in at every inch of challenges. Know that handling greater challenges in your marriage will be near impossible. Children’s way of reacting to the unpleasant situation is to cry. Though, crying may be beneficial at times. But when it becomes a spontaneous response to an uncomfortable situation. Childhood attitude is on display.
- Adaptability: This is one of the traits of a toddler. No wonder they can go with anyone that meets their needs. Even if that person has an ulterior motive. You are dating a toddler if he or she could adapt to any negative influence around him like a chameleon. That means if family, friends, neighbors, fellow workers, online information changes his stand on the major issue in his life and your relationship. The implication is if he is a man he will not be able to take charge of his home against external negative influence and aggression.
- Poor memory: When you deny a child of certain benefit they really call to memory you previous benevolence. They always want to have it their way. This is one sign to know if you are dating a toddler or not. Whenever you deny him or her perceived right or benefit, or whenever he dwells so much on your flaws and not taking cognizance of your good deeds. If all the time he complains about unanswered prayers, his bad uncle, the church leaders who refuse to help. Then, you need to watch your back.
- Always want something for nothing: It is natural for a toddler to desire something without paying any price. If you are in a relationship with a lazy fellow, it calls for concern. He or she daydreams about great achievement without any blueprint on how to achieve that, beloved you are courting a toddler. Such people claim to be people of prayer and faith. They forgot God not only desire a world inhabited by men. He went to work by speaking them into existence and went through stress creating Adam. God was not a wishful thinker but an action taker.
To sum up, knowing whether you are dating a toddler not only save time and save energy but, shield you from a harrowing marital experience in the future.
What is your evaluation of your current relationship in the light of the above signs of dating a toddler?
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Do not leave without having a say in the comment below.
Author: Joseph Akinrinola
Joseph Akinrinola is a Pastor, Sunday school management coach, author, blogger, and a motivational speaker.
Joseph created this blog to help young Christians establish their
feet in Christ, and to provide Biblical time-tested answers to life’s
questions about relationship, christian living and personal development.