Getting Along With Your Parents: Strategies That Works
As a teenager or a youth, getting along with your parents may be a herculean task. Don’t worry I was once there before. I know it sounds a traumatic experience for young people and their parents to have a seamless relationship. More often than not parents and their kids do not run on the same page. As the world advances the parents and child’s relationship become tensed. Hence, it creates a gulf between parents and their wards. So, youth and parents conflict resolution becomes harder.
With no doubt, the best parents are not immune to this dilemma of getting along with their wards. Sometimes with the best intention from both ends, there appears to be no easy way out in sight. Many times young people wonder how do I get along with my parents? They reasoned why they are always on the cross with their parent. According to them, nothing they do seem to resonate with their parent. On the side of the parent, they wonder why their kid seems difficult. Instead of these two parties to harmonize their views, it creates a division. The two parties hold to their view as the best.
Though, they are not contented with their stand they find it difficult to resolve their diverse view. Some area young people find difficult to get along with their parent include: God’s will in marriage, choosing the right carrier, right company, etc.
By design God expected the party to complement each other to fulfill His plan for their generation. But, how do we work around this impasse? Sometimes, it is part of the parents that act as the barrier to the smooth relationship. Occasionally, the two parents pitch their tent against that of their child. In my case, my wife seems softer with the children than me. Because of that, the children are disposed to her than me. Nevertheless, we’re able to find a common ground of compromise that ensures a healthy relationship.
I am thankful to have kids who allow me to have my ways most time. But, at the end of their patience and submission, I can learn the reference and it becomes a “win-win” issue.
Below are a few lessons from my kids I will share with you on a better relationship with your parents.
1: Your life a convincing message: One of the profound impacts that douse the tension between parents and their wards on the welfare, development, and success of their children is a life devoted to Godly principle and respect for family values.
One major concern of any parent is their children growing in the fear of God. The growing between teen and youth become delicate. This is the period to mold their destiny as well a period some of them fall into the trap of drug, cultism, alcoholism, and waywardness. The most agitated people are clergies and Christian leaders. So one favor you can do for yourself and your parents is for your parent to see your life as a reflection of the scriptures.
So, instead of following the multitude on the wrong side of life, you could be another Samuel and Josiah of our time. These are young lads that will not corrupt themselves by the negative worlds around them. However, they adapted the world to suit them rather than the other way. So, you’ll get along with your parents easily if your life is living proof. Don’t forget getting along with your parents requires a proof of loyalty and obedience on your part.
2: Think like a parent: Today’s parents were children years ago. Put yourself in their position. Will you desire good or a bad thing for your kids? In most relationship inability to put yourself in the other person’s shoe is the reason for the conflict.
You will be a parent someday and you’ll understand your parent’s excesses then. Then, in your own dispensation things would have been different as well. Would you appreciate their submission then? If so, then set the path now. Remember what goes around comes around. That means if you’ll want your kids to get along with you then get along with your parents now. Getting along with your parents become easier if you’ll think like a parent.
3: Talk to God: You will be deceiving yourself if you think getting along with your parents will be easy and that is why you need God. I tell a Christian teacher to talk to God about the people before talking to them about God. The same applies here. If you’re having a difficult time getting along with your parent then, talk to God in prayer for them. After all, Nehemiah, Daniel, and Esther did that. As you know God had gone ahead of them in their situation. So, talking to the king about their situation becomes a walk over. With the sincerity of your heart, God will make your parents see reason with your point. It becomes easier to get along with your parents if you’re getting along with the God of your parents. Their resistance is a test of your endurance.
I tell people when it comes to cracking hard nuts in a relationship expect the best but prepare for the worse. So, don’t expect to get along with your parents by telling them your desire and expect them to swallow the line sinker and hook. Don’t be dejected if you meet with a brick wall trying selling your idea and view to your parents.
If you try one method and it fails to try another. With your persistence, you’ll wear out their resistance. As a teenager or a youth, you’ll remember how as a child you’re consistent when asking dad or mum for something. If you can pay the price for getting along with other people then, the price to get along with your parent shouldn’t be too much to pay. Don’t forget to delay is not denial. It is a long-time process getting along with your parents. requires a proof of loyalty and obedience on your part.
4: Recognize the difference in your dispensation: Just as you need your parents to see things your way so, they want you to reciprocate. You must admit they are still seeing things from their dispensations lens as they were when they are young. Until both parties maintain a middle course peace will be elusive.
The disagreement is caused by the difference in the dispensation. Ask your friends who are having a cordial relationship with their parents “how do you get along with your parents”, you’ll be surprised what they went through to get that bliss. Therefore, be mindful that it will not be easy for them to adjust quickly to your idea.
5: Be respectful and convincing: Parent expects their children to honor them and approaches them in reverence. Sometimes youth and young people do, things without knowing why or the grave consequences of their actions. Perhaps those actions were the result of peer influence. When presenting your argument let it be Biblically and morally correct. It will amaze you with their readiness to buy into your view.
I guarantee a resounding success if you present your case logically without argument. You know there is a means to tell someone to go to hell and he will be happy doing that. In any defense presentation matters. Your education and exposure are not a liberty to be arrogant. Instead, it should reform you to be respectful.
6: Give a step to gain a mile: You’ll not get along with your parents if you’ll always insist on having your way with no compromise. The way up is down. A tree grows downward first before going upward. If you allow them to have their ways first, I can assure you of their willingness to fall in line with you with time. It is inherent for the parents to insist they know better than you do. And most times they do. So bear with their supposed excesses now to have your filled day later. Ask any young man having a good relationship with his parent how have been getting along with your parents, he’ll tell you he gave something in turn
7: Remember experience counts: It is unquestionable that the world is advanced now more than your parents’ time. And some better information at your fingertips than theirs. Yet, that cannot replace the parents’ practical experience. Unfortunately, some information on the web is unhelpful. Equally, some such information will pitch you against your parents in the name of a human right or child protection.
You know your parents used to be children, teenagers, and youth before now. So, you’ll save yourself tons of error, pains and regret if you’ll be patient and humble enough to learn from them.
In a nutshell, young people can work out their differences with their parents if they recognize and accept they have good intentions for their severe lines on issues. Apart from that when a young man presents his divergent view in a reverentially, it will see the light of the day.
Do you want to get along with your parents? It is a mission possible. The decision is yours. Your view is as important as your parents’, but willingness to pay the price will pay off with your patience.
Am I able to touch the area of conflict between you and your parents in this post?
What step will you take now to get a better relationship with your parents?
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Author: Joseph Akinrinola
Joseph Akinrinola is a Pastor, Sunday school management coach, author, blogger, and a motivational speaker.
Joseph created this blog to help young Christians establish their
feet in Christ, and to provide Biblical time-tested answers to life’s
questions about relationship, christian living and personal development.