Human beings are social beings. Therefore, one major area of sociality is marriage. But if marriage delays reactions and counter-reactions follow. At such times spontaneous negative behavior is exhibited. So what are the don’ts when marriage delays?
Unfortunately, negative reaction rather than improve the situation compound it the more. I agreed it is natural for people at this level to assume the world is falling round about them. When marriage delays feeling of loneliness and a sense of being an outcast among one’s peers heightens. At that stage, the voice of reasoning, especially from the married, is misunderstood. They’ll see them as not being emphatic enough with their plight. They interpret the encouraging words of people in the same shoe with them as that of a drowned man seeking a companion. What are these don’ts when marriage delays that the concerned people must know?
I could give more things you shouldn’t do as you await your spouse. But I will compress them into four. Why you shouldn’t do any or these things. It is because doing so is akin to kissing your marital dream goodbye.
1- Do not be bitter with God: Naturally, we sometimes blame God for our mishap. We reasoned after all he is all knowing and all powerful. Hence he should have prevented that or do something. This is true. But, something he wouldn’t do certain things for reasons best known to him. And marriage is one of such.
Bitterness against God is one of the don’ts when marriage delays. Ignoring this will pitch you against God your creator. As such, you block other chances of his benevolence. Doing so also signal to God he knows less than the bible claimed about him. Don’t forget being bitter against God changes nothing. Instead, it complicates it. Though, God understands your grief, yet, he owes you no explanation for what he permitted including the marital delay. Job had an impeccable record confirmed by God. He demanded from God reasons for his predicament. However, instead of God giving him an answer he asks further questions which has nothing to do with Job’s issue.
Because of your vendetta against God, you may want to drop some spiritual assignment in your hand. You may conclude spiritual exercises are a waste of time. After all, those who do less even, gentiles are having a filled day. These are what not to do when marriage delays. It may tempt you to conclude your years in the world are better. That is the statement of the backslider. But, you are not. Once a while you may ask where God is when I hurt. That is an unfriendly way to treat a God who not only preserve you in the womb but also, kept you thus far.
2 – Don’t shift blame: Pessimist people often blame others, their parents, background and things for their situation. While the optimist looks past their limitation to chart a new frontier.
One thing you should never do when marriage delays is to blame your parents. Don’t forget you can choose where you’ll live but not your parent or where you’ll be born. That you’re alive is enough to be grateful for having parents in the first instance.
Yes, what they did or fail to do may have an effect on their children including marital delay. But, you can unwind the clock to your favor with resilience, prayer, and positive attitude. God commanded children to obey their parents and this includes bad ones. So, if Jesus mandated us to love everyone then, our parents are inclusive.
Who knows if your marital delay is not unconnected with your negative disposition to your parents? Unfortunately, many young people had turned their back against their parents. This is courtesy of the prophets or men of God. Their reason “your mother is a witch”. Always remember what goes round comes round. What if the prophet was wrong afterward? A crime against one’s parent is a crime against God.
Bitterness in any form drains your energy spiritually, emotionally and physically. Do you know who is watching your disposition to your parents? A suitor may just be observing your home social etiquette. Perhaps, someone out there is listening to your parent’s comments about your attitude. These side talk or comment may be the final arbitrary to getting your own spouse or not. If you are spiritual enough you’ll know your parent’s happiness has a bit of impact on your life. So, do not incur their open or secret curses.
3 – Don’t be hard on yourself: Apart from God, no one decides your fate more than you do. Life is a reflection of what you make out of it. The greatest disservice you can do to yourself while your marriage tarries is to be bitter.
I agree when marriage delays it sometimes feels the world is crumbling around you. The devil makes you think yours is the worse. Nothing is farther from the truth than this.
There are reasons why you cannot afford to be mad at yourself because of your delay in marriage. For instance, your emotional state will affect every other aspect of your life. It affects your concentration and retention capacity. Your emotional state reflects in your disposition to people around you.
Experience shows those who had a delay in marriage, divorced and single parents are less friendly with married people.
If you allow this situation to take its toll on you, you’ll become aggressive, moody and unhappy. The resultant effect is you drive away people from you. Instead of making more friends you’ll create a hostile environment around you.
If you are in business you’ll have an unhappy customer who only patronizes you for lack of an alternative at least for now. As a salesperson, you will not be able to retain the customer and obviously your boss fires you.
Physically you look unattractive as it reflects on your face. This makes you unapproachable by people. Aside from that, you grow older than your age without knowing it. Why? Your face muscles contrast earlier than expected and you age faster. As a result of that, your chances of finding the right partner becomes slimmer. Your anxiety increases and your blood pressure spikes up. Guess what? Your health deteriorates speedily. Then the obvious happens, stroke, heart failure, and death. What a misguided way to end an obvious glorious destiny because of delay in marriage.
Beloved, you are better of delayed now for few more moment than losing your life and destiny. Remember delay is not denial. I can hear your marriage bell in a short distance.
4 – Don’t sell yourself cheap: This is applicable to male and female. While it is natural to be agitated for the marital delay. Desperation could lead to taking a hasty decision that leaves untold pain on its part for the rest of your life. Marriage is not a quick fix to loneliness. It is neither an escape route from family responsibility nor antidote to sexual pressure.
Getting married for the wrong reasons not only compounds the stress it is a sure way of courting untold pain and grief. If you are too desperate, close allies can capitalize on this to offer ungodly options. Never fall for this. You’ve waited long enough to be married to just anybody.
Some are so disillusioned about their case that marrying an unbeliever seems as the next best option. You have something precious some unsuspecting gentile will do anything to get. So never consider to marrying an unbeliever under whatever guise. Do you know why? Your marriage had a direct implication on your life and eternity. Today, many who married wrongly wishes they can unwind the clock because of the dire consequences they’re now suffering.
I am not unaware that yielding to the aforementioned suggestions is not easy. After all, I once had my own share of marital delay. These tips saved me and today are all history. If you key into these tips you’ll thank me for it on your soon-coming wedding day. Adopting this style will not only save you from an untimely death but also, prepare you physically, spiritually and emotional sound for life after marriage.
One key to finding the right person to marry is to create a friendly atmosphere for yourself. This includes your home, work, school, church, and neighborhood. Mind you, husband or wife will not drop from heaven. We get our spouses from among people. So, been happy, making people happy and creating a regular happy moment is a guarantee to attracting the right people.
Doing otherwise makes your chances dicey. It is great reading what not to do when marriage delays. But, happy are you if you act on them.
Are you guilty of any points listed above?
Is there any of the tips you find difficult to implement?
Don’t leave without adding your voice in the comment box
If you are better off with this post, share it on your loved social platform. Don’t also forget to like my page on Facebook and other platforms.
Author: Joseph Akinrinola
Joseph Akinrinola is a Pastor, Sunday school management coach, author, blogger, and a motivational speaker.
Joseph created this blog to help young Christians establish their
feet in Christ, and to provide Biblical time-tested answers to life’s
questions about relationship, christian living and personal development.