The beginning of the failure of any endeavors is to have the wrong reasons for embarking on it. Many people got married without knowing why? Today broken homes and divorce is on the increase because many people have the wrong reasons for getting married.
In my view, a few of the followings are some wrong reasons for getting married.
- To get over sexual urge: This is one of the wrong reasons for getting married. Marriage does not give victory over sexual urge. At least, several records and reports show people having extra-marital affairs despite their good sexual relationship with their spouse at home. Thus, if you are not sexually disciplined when you are single you’re not likely to keep your fidelity in marriage. This is because the best couples sometimes have low season sexually.
- Get away from home responsibly: Among other wrong reasons for getting married is thinking it is an escape route from house chores or responsibility. Unknown to people with this thought marriage responsibility can overwhelm most times. This is not different whether you are a career woman or sit-at-home mum. Once you are married, you will do the laundry not only for yourself this time but for the family. So the larger the family the more responsibility you have.
- Age is not on my side: Check divorce statistics and you’ll find out number single parents and divorcee is higher with younger people than older people as at the period of marriage. I agreed your feeling is natural but that will be a wrong reason for marriage. It is true those younger are married and those older than you. But, going into marriage for the wrong reasons will only compound your problem.
- All my friends are hooked up: Getting married for this reason is wrong. Like the bible says there is a time for everything and that includes marriage. Your life differs from your friends. So this is also one of the wrong reasons for getting married.
- To prove your ex wrong: Some people went into a marriage to prove a point to their ex. According to them, their ex will know he or she is not the only man or the only woman on the earth. Apart from that, they’ll show they are a husband or wife material other people desires.
- To be happy: Marriage does not guarantee happiness or joy. In fact, there are several miserable marriages. So it is a wrong reason for marriage. You can be happy with your life without marriage. Joy or happiness is a matter of choice. Check out what makes you happy and develop it. Find what pisses you off and extinguish it.
- Marriage for financial strength: The dream of gaining financial independence is one of such wrong reasons for getting married. This is because financial situation people changes, there are people who were once rich but now poor after marriage. Aside from this, it is a proof of selfishness and reliance on others.
- Old enough to be a parent: People have children out of wedlock. Thus, it not until a person gets married before he or she can become a father or mother. More so, there are no guarantees children will come as soon as you get married. Such a reason put pressure of getting children on the relationship and it will disrupt real affection in your relationship with your spouse.
- Marriage based on a recommendation: Another wrong reason for getting married is the recommendation of certain people in your life. They may be a spiritual leader, parents, friends, bosses, marriage counselors, etc. Though, there is nothing wrong in introducing people to each other for building a relationship. Whether the relationship ends in marriage should be left to them. This differs from marriage, match-making.
- Marriage for documentation: Some people rush into marriage or married because they wanted to get certain documents. Perhaps they needed these papers to travel abroad or get benefits in their place of work. This is also the wrong reason for marriage.
- To get over loneliness: Marriage does not solve loneliness. Many married people are having an extramarital relationship, not because of poverty or sex but loneliness. They look like a stranger in their home. Though, they are married yet lonely. This is also a wrong reason to get married. Loneliness is a matter of choice. There are several things you could do that will keep you busy and happy. A good relationship with friends, relatives, fellow workers, fellow students, productive engagement, and spiritual service are all means of overcoming loneliness.
- Beauty: Beauty is a state of the mind, never go into marriage because she is beautiful or he is handsome. Something terrible and irreparable accident can happen to that body and the beauty will be the loss. Then, your source of attraction vanishes away. I know you must have heard or read about able-bodied people marrying physically disabled people. It is not about external beauty but internal beauty and purity. So beauty should not be your reason for going into marriage.
- Because of unwanted pregnancy: Though I do not expect a Christian to fall into this yet, it happens. However, getting pregnant out of wedlock should not translate into marriage. This wrong reason for marriage has led many young girls to untold agony of a forced marriage. If you find yourself in this situation, deliver your baby, repent of your sin and start your life on a clean slate all over.
I may not have exhausted all wrong reasons for getting married but, the few ones I listed here are enough as a warning for anyone plans to go into marriage.
Perhaps you know few other ones I omitted, feel free to add them in the comment box. Don’t also forget to like my Facebook page and share this among your friends.
Author: Joseph Akinrinola
Joseph Akinrinola is a Pastor, Sunday school management coach, author, blogger, and a motivational speaker.
Joseph created this blog to help young Christians establish their
feet in Christ, and to provide Biblical time-tested answers to life’s
questions about relationship, christian living and personal development.